Saul's Message: It's Time To Choose!

I have woken up the past two mornings extremely anxious without really knowing why. Occasionally during sleep or quiet times, I seemed to get bits and pieces of messages that weren't particularly coherent. I decided to meditate on it to see if anything were a little more clear. These are Saul's words to me. I'm sharing this, not because I particularly want to, but because I feel the message is an important one--meant for more than just me.

The earth groans from the pain of its birthing process. New life struggles to be born, but this is a dangerous time for the child. It needs to emerge soon or it will be crushed and smothered by the weight of the birthing process--that process by which is the earth trying to balance herself.

Today is the day of choice! No longer can you stand on the sidelines and watch. It is time to choose your path and follow where it leads.

You can choose the path of allowing and acceptance--the path that leads to an open heart. It is the path of love, cooperation and Oneness. It is the path of peace, which refuses to pick up a sword against your neighbor.

You may choose the path of standing up for your beliefs--fighting for them and dying for them. This is the path that forces your beliefs on your fellow men. This path leads to death and destruction.

Choose your path carefully. The earth's new child has the potential to bring wonderful new life or become stillborn. It will depend on your choice.

Taking The Time To Listen

I was listening to a wonderful interview on Jennifer McLean's Healing With the Masters Teleseminar series (http://www.healingwiththemasters.com/) this morning where she had interviewed the gifted intuitive Sonia Choquette. It was all on the topic of asking for and expecting help from your guides. It was packed with so much good information, I picked up my journal and began taking notes, stopping occasionally to write down advice and some of my own thoughts.

I haven't done a great job of acknowledging Saul and company lately (as you can see by the holes in this blog). The need to do so became obvious as I listened to Sonia's wise words. She talked a long time on the importance of saying "Yes!" instead of asking "Why?" when your guides give you advice, which made a lot of sense to me as I know that when I follow their seemingly off the wall advice, good things happen.

That said, as I was taking my notes, I found myself not so much writing about what Sonia was saying but having my own written conversation with Saul which went like this.

"Expect your guides to help you, Cindy! That's what they're here for! The more you listen, the more you'll be in flow and the more the Universe will open up to you! You already know this, Cindy!"

I reply, "Yes, but I want it to be automatic. I want my intuition to be strong!"

"You have to exercise the muscle! Use it! Don't lose it!"

With ever so much patience, I am once again guided in the right direction. I just have to take the time to listen.

Talking With Those Who Pass On

Part of my journey with Saul has been about acknowledging my continuing relationships with those who have spent time with me here but have now passed on. I don't consider myself a medium, but there are times when my empathic abilities allow me to sense those who are no longer here when I particularly need to talk to them. I've talked with grandparents and aunts, and I seem particularly close to my first mother-in-law. The most surprising one has been just this morning as I sit in my quiet time and connect.

I have been relating my story about my experiences in the Jeffrey Lundgren cult in a series on my other regular blog, From Cocoon to Butterfly (http://www.cocoontobutterfly.blogspot.com/). I've actually felt prompted by Saul to begin telling my story in this way, and I've found it to be both revealing and catharic for me. As I remember the details to their conclusion, I feel the presence of Karen Avery, the little girl who was killed by Jeff Lundgren along with her family. In many ways, her memory has haunted me for years.

I hear Karen tell me she does not want her story to be all about revenge and "justice". She wants what I want: to let her life serve as a cautionary tale about what can happen to those who follow another human instead of following the truth inside themselves--that God within. She did not die for justice. She died for love.

As I walk this path of telling my story, I choose to tell Karen's story as well. It's the least I can do for someone who could not tell her own story in life. It is definitely a story worth sharing.

When Chaos Erupts

My daughter woke up in an extremely foul mood this morning. Consequently, she interupted my usual quiet/meditation time, which began to throw me off my day. I've also been counseling a friend who is not finding her life manifesting the things she wants as quickly as she would like them to. She's getting down, and there's only so much you can do for a friends who is down. Being a very "feeling" sort of person, it can be hard for me to not internalize the feelings of others.

Realizing it is more important than ever for me to sit in the quiet and do my best to hear from those placed here to help me, I find myself calling more and more on my relationship with Saul. As I sit in the quiet, his gentle, reassuring words comfort me at the very core of my being.

I hear these words:
     Chaos erupts to remind you to focus on the Divine inside yourself. Truth resides within. You know this and you have experienced this. You are being called to live your life from this place--the place of truth, the place of Connection. We are guiding you in your present journey, just as we have always guided you.  Stay a while with us and we will give you all you need to meet the challenges of this day.

As I rest in this Divine presence, I feel so loved! All the empty places inside me, where I have been worn down by the turmoils of this lifetime, begin to fill back up again! I am no longer an imperfect human. I recognize once again that I am a Divine being of light and love. I am whole, and I am once again ready to be a conscious creator of my world.

Letting Go

One of the biggest joys, as well as one of the greatest challenges, in my life has been my relationship with my daughter. It seemed from the beginning of her life she needed constant attention and care. As she grew older, the problems grew greater. Her teenage years have been some of the worst I have ever experienced, but at the same time I consider it all joy because of what I have learned through the struggle. Some of the most profound insights of my life have come because I was forced to look at the world in unusual ways in order to cope with her problems.

Being a good parent is difficult. You have to balance your need for control (which we often justify as "guidance") with the need to allow the child to learn their own lessons. I am between such a rock and a hard place with my daughter. Because of the traumas she has sufferend in the past few years, she is stuck. I have also felt stuck in my own life, waiting for her to resolve some of her issues and move on.

It is only recently that I have sought the more Divine guidance of the spirit world in this matter. As I enquire within and listen to the voices of Saul and company, I hear several different pieces of advice. The first is to talk to my sister, who has had similar problems with her own daughter. The second is to ask for her help. Typically, I am a very independent sort of person who hesitates to ask anyone for help. The third (and most important) is to let my daughter go.

There is a lot to letting my daughter go. The first thought that comes is that her life is ultimately about her, not about me. She had a job to do in helping me learn some truths, but that part of our journey together seems to be about over. The second thought is that I am, in a very real sense, still energetically clinging to my daughter when she needs to be set free. Thus, part of her current problem is me!

Learning to trust the advice of my guides is hard sometimes. I question my sanity on occasion. Still, their voices ring with a truth that is becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. I will let go of my daughter, and trust the Universe will catch her in the fall.